Random Rumblings

I have so much going through my head today, I figured if I wrote it all down, maybe my mind will finally calm down so that I can go on with my life as normal. This is probably going to be long so if no one cares to read it that is just fine.
For starters I just have to say that my house is freezing, its only 63degrees and I am refusing to turn on the heater. Come on, two days ago I had the swamp cooler running, its almost June for heavens sake!
I am SO much more irritable this pregnancy than my last. This is mostly what has been on my mind as of late. The fact that EVERYTHING bugs me, bugs me. Surprisingly enough though, I can handle McKinley and Bret just fine. But everyone and everything else doesn't stand a chance. Is it because I am to the miserable point in pregnancy? Is it because I don't get a lot of other adult social interaction during the day as I did when I was preggers with McKinley? Or is it because this pregnancy is just different in EVERY way? I seriously sometimes catch myself in the middle of a tantrum and think "my goodness where is this coming from?" then because I realize what a scene I am making, I start to cry all because I feel bad for being so irritable. My hormones are SO out of whack this time I don't even want to think about what it is going to be like afterwards. They are going to have to put me on valium or something just so everyone else can stand to be around me.
Which leads me to the other thing that has been on my mind, I am SO worried about how McKinley is going to handle having a new sibling, I am loosing sleep over it. I know that it is going to be a huge change for her. It makes me sad to think that all the time I have spent with her these last few months is now going to have to be shared with someone else. I don't know if I am ready to share it with someone else either. Now, I understand that she will not be the first child to ever have to go through this, and I am not the first mother either, but I am trying to figure out what is going to be best for her on dealing with it. The only thing I can think of is routine routine, routine. I need someone to stay with her at home while I am in the hospital that will follow her daily routine. She needs constancy, she needs to do the same things everyday. Even if I am not the one helping her do those things. Because when we get back from the hospital with a new sibling, her whole world is going to change. My whole world is going to change. Its not going to be easy for either one of us. As long as her schedule is still the same at least she has that bring her comfort in all of this. Plus it will be easier for both Bret and I to not have to try and put her back on her schedule on top of trying to figure out life with a new baby. Every thing that I have read in every magazine says the same thing. Routine and constancy are the best things for children under 2 who will be having new siblings. My mom told me that it is not going to matter whether or not she is kept to her schedule, because new babies are such a big change. This might be true, however just knowing that she is going to bed, taking naps, taking baths, eating breakfast, etc the way she does everyday when I am not around will bring much needed comfort to me while I am not with her. Even if it doesn't matter for McKinley.

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My dad bought Bret and I tickets for Christmas to go to Dave Ramsey's seminar on the 'total money makeover' I for one was not too thrilled about going listen to some guy tell everyone how dumb they all were for being in debt and what they should have done with their money and what he did to make him a millionaire. He came this past weekend and of course we went, but not because we wanted to. At the beginning of his 5 hour lecture, he made the comment about those people who were forced to come against their own freewill will be friends with him at the end of the 5 hours. Bret and I rolled our eyes, but sat and listened to what he had to say. I have to agree with him, after the 5 hours was over, Dave is now our friend. And Bret and I have joined the other thousands of people on the "Total Money Makeover" band wagon. This is something that is not going to be easy, but it can be done. As long as Bret and I follow it, we figure that we will be able to be totally debt free by the end of the year, and will have enough in the bank for an emergency ($5,000 - $10,000) and be able to start saving for a house. This means that in 3-5 years we will be able to pay CASH for a house. CASH for a house! Exciting but a little overwhelming right now too. I totally want to tell everyone I know about this process, but you really have to be committed and understand that it doesn't happen over night. It takes 'baby steps' to get there. And you pretty much live like no one else. You don't drive nice new cars, you don't put money on credit cards and you don't worry about what the neighbors "the Jones'" are up to... yadda yadda. Anyway I will keep you all updated on how this process is working out for us. My parents have also started this process and they will have everything including their house payed for in under a year.
My sister in law and I were texting back and forth yesterday and she asked me if I would be interested in kid switching 2 days a month. Me thinking that it was a great idea so that Bret and I could have a date night wrote in reply that it would be nice to have at least 2 nights out of the month that Bret and I could go out and have time together without McKinley. She in response wrote this "yeah oh we can do it during the day too so you and i can have some me time"... ME time? Me time? if I had ME time I don't think I would know what to do with it. I can only sleep so long, I keep my house fairly clean and picked up (besides I would be the only one that would clean on my ME day) and showering and spending time getting ready would be nice every once in a while, but it wouldn't take me all day, then what would I do? grocery shop? I would seriously be lost with a whole day without McKinley. She is the reason I stay home in the first place. If I wanted ME time I would just go back to work and send her off to daycare. Needless to say I never responded back to her text.
For those of you still reading this, I apologize for my random ranting and rumblings. There is just one more thing, Bret and I did choose Korver for the name of our little guy. But its really weird to me telling people. Just because I am scared of the reaction. Why I care, I don't know.